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-Odnos između čekića i eksera je BOLI GLAVA!
-Bolje izgubiti trenutak u životu, nego izgubiti život u trenutku
-Bog je stvorio muskarca jer nije imao dovoljno dlaka da stvori majmuna
-Svanuce novi dan, bez obzira ustao ti ili ne. (John Ciardi)
-Hodaj uvijek uspravno....jer ces vjecno lezati..
-Ne pij dok vozis mogao bih proliti!!!
-Znanje je jedini udarac kojim me je promasio
-Jedite govna, nemoguce da se milioni muha varaju!
-Mozda muskarcima mozak i nije slaba tocka ali je ipak tocka!
-Čovjek uči dok je živ i opet umre glup.
-Ko umre na jesen za njega nema zime.
-Ko pjeva zlo ne misli, a ko misli nije mu do pjesme...
-Ko ne misli-zlo ne misli!!!
-Mene novac i slava ne zanimaju. Zanima me samo novac...
-Matičar je sudac koji osuđuje na doživotnu.
-Timski rad je zakon. Uvijek možeš okriviti nekog drugog.
-Čovjek koji ne radi greške obično ne radi ništa.
-Osjećaš li se dobro? Ne brini, proći će te..
-Neki stalno govore o stvarima koje ih ostavljaju bez riječi.
-Pesimist je optimist sa iskustvom.
-Zasto se jezici zovu 'materinji'? Zato jer očevi rijetko dolaze do rijeci!
-I POSTENOG covjeka mozete potkupiti, samo morate POSTENO i platiti.
-Žene imaju problem za svako rješenje!
-U
društvu ljudi bez zdravog razuma zdrav čovek se mora ponašati kao
ludak. Ludost je logika preciznog mozga kad je preopterećen.
-Prosečna žena uvek je rađe lepa nego pametna, jer prosečna žena zna da prosečni muškarac bolje vidi nego što misli.
-Alkohol je covjekov najveci neprijatelj. Samo kukavice bjeze od neprijatelja.
-Brak je nalik na pecurku, da li je dobra ili otrovna primjetis tek kad je kasno
-Bog je stvorivsi covjeka zaboravio da na njega stavi copyright - zato ga danas pravi svaka budala
-Stvarnost je stanje prouzrokovano nedostatkom alkohola
-Da bi dečko bio savršen, mora biti zgodan, pametan i moj.
-Jednoj ženi treba 20 godina da od sina napravi muškarca, a drugoj samo 20 minuta da od njega napravi budalu.
-Jedina stvar koja može spriječiti opadanje kose je pod.
-Recite mi konačno ‘ko donosi djecu - roda ili ševa ?
-Pogledaj u ogledalo i vidjet ćeš da nisi najružniji na svijetu! haha
-Da je pas čovjekov prijatelj, mišljenje je čovjeka, a ne psa.
-Mrzim se svadati sa budalama; prvo te natjeraju da se spustis na njihovu razinu i onda te dotuku iskustvom.
-Neprijatelj nikada ne spava… prepoznat ces ga po podočnjacima.
-Optimizam je nedostatak informacija
-Muhe su najbolji novinari - odmah otkriju kad nešto zasmrdi.
-Živi svaki dan života kao da ti je zadnji, jednom æeš biti u pravu!
-Zene se uljepsavaju samo zato sto je culo vida muskarca razvijenije od mozga
-Prije nego nades zgodnog princa moras poljubiti mnogo zaba
-Prva žena u svemiru bila je Lajka
-Policajci su kao prostitutke. Stoje na uglu, a obitelj se srami.
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-Potrčao je u susret tramvaju. Tramvaj ga nije prepoznao!
-Borba za mir je kao j***** za nevinost.
-Jedini način da bi izbjegli greške je steći iskustvo. Jedini način da bi stekli iskustvo... je činiti greške.
-Vozite oprezno. Nemojte ubiti dijete - sačekajte učitelja.
-Zar ti moram stalno sto puta ponavljati - reče centimetar metru.
-Nekad sam bio neodlučan.... A možda i nisam?
-Da mi je ženska pamet pa da se malo odmorim!
-Tko ima sreće u kartama, ima para za ljubav.
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-Ko tebe kamenom,ti njega isto kamenom jer kruh je poskupio.
-Vuk dlaku mijenja a kerovi je ostavljaju po cilimu...
-Ko kome jamu kopa sam u Nju Orliens.
-Da je zena dobra imo bi je i Bog
-Film bez muzike je kao film bez muzike
Boze tebi je lako... ti imas mene, ja nemam nikog
-Benediht 16; C.Zvezda 17…. :P :P
-Partizan prvi, Ivan Pavao II......:)))
-Životna je iluzija kad ti cijeli život sole pamet, a umreš od šećera.
-I nogom u guzicu je korak naprijed!!!
-Ti si moje blago....naradje bih te zakopao :D
-Zašto mornarica prima više neplivača, nego plivača? Duže će braniti brod!
- Zašto krava pase travu? Jer nema ruku da smota...
- Stara kineska: - Pas koji laje, nije dovoljno kuvan!
- Ne diraj lava Doc Holiday!
-Imati odjeljak za pusenje u restoranu isto je kao imati odjeljak za mokrenje u bazenu.
-Koje su tri najtanje knjige na svijetu? Somalijski kuhar, Bosanski mudraci, Crnogorski uradi sam.
-Slozeni problemi imaju proste, lako razumljive, netacne odgovore.
-Uvek moze naci ono sto ne trazis.
-Ako ti je svejedno gde si, onda se nisi izgubio.
-Nemogucje je da optimista bude prijatno iznenadjen.
-Najbolji nacin da se setis sta si jos hteo da napises jeste da zapecatis pismo.
- Najbolji nacin da se setis sta si jos hteo da napises jeste da zapecatis pismo.
- Iza nas su velika dela koja će pokolenja pokušati da otplate.
- Temelji jesu klimavi, ali ostatak građevine puca od čvrstine.
- Revolucija teče kao pesma. Svaki čas nas iznenade dobro poznati refreni.
- Ko kaže da je ovo stranputica, taj pojma nema šta je ćorsokak.
- Vlast menja ljude. Osobito njihov lični opis.
- Štafeta je palica za masovna dejstva.
-Naši susedi žive na granici ludila.
-Demokratska država ima Ustav, Skupštinu, a po potrebi i narod.
-Jednima je došao glave, drugima ide na jetru. U proseku, svima je prirastao za srce.
-Još jedan čovek je sprečen da izvrši zločin. Osuđen je nevin.
-A sedmoga dana Bog se uhvatio za glavu.
-Od gomile postaju široke narodne mase, čim se umeša konjica.
-Tuđinu je trebalo pet vekova da bi uradio ono što smo mi postigli za pet decenija.
-Njutn laže. Lake padaju brže.
-Nije važno stići prvi. Važno je stići pre drugog.
-Čovek je kao slika. Najinteresantniji je kad se otkači.
-Nije sve tako crno, - reče dželat, - samo su ti zavezane oči.
-Osmeh je jedna kriva linija koja može da ispravi mnoge stvari.
-Amerikanci svoje ljude šalju na MESEC, a mi svoje i na MESEC i na više godina!
-Ljudi se razlikuju po tome što imaju jednaka prava.
-Između robota i čoveka nema razlike - obojica dobro rade kad se podmažu!
-Oprezan je onaj ko pre grmljavine opere kosu šamponom od koprive!
-Kosa opada zato što nije zimzelena!
-Kroz moj život prolaze mnoge budale. Samo ja ostajem.
-Demokratija je kada svako može da kaže šta ja mislim!
-Amerikanci Ruse plaše FANTOMIMA. Rusi im na to samo naMIGuju.
-Sličnost između slona i paradajza je u tome što su oba crvena osim slona.
-Najlepši je poziv za vojsku. Drugi deo vica je vojna tajna!
-Život je kao pepeljara: dok je čist i lep, dotle je prazan i nema smisla!
-Ako kravi daješ sneg ne znači da će ona posle davati milk-šejk!
-Najgenijalniji je pronalazač WC-šolje: nikom nije uzimao meru, a veličina svima odgovara!
-Prodajem foto-aparat sa stativom. Foto-aparat je kod mene, a stativu možete pokupiti na stadionu.
-Najbrža kokoška je ona koja uspe da protrči kroz Etiopiju i ostane živa!
-Za leprsav hod i sjaj u ocima koristite kozmetiku "JELEN"!!!
-Naravno,bilo je nezgoda i smrti u boksu-ali nijedna nije bila preozbiljna
-Bankok novine: “Većina hotela je već puna ljudi,plus 5000 novinara.”
-Barbara
Boxer,senatorica: „ Oni koji su preživjeli potres u San Francisku su
rekli „Hvala Bogu,još sam uvijek živ.“ Ali,naravno,oni koji su
umrli,njihov život više nikad neće biti isti.“
-Bob Dole,predsjednički kandidat : "Internet je jako dobar način da se dođe na net."
-Cudan nacin dodavanja - jako i nikome !
-Kakav udarac, pocepao je vazduh na vodonik i kiseonik.
-Brazilska odbrana - planinski venci Siera Madre!
-Lopta je proletela paralelno sa ibarskom magistralom!
-To je bila veca opasnost za avione tipa Avaks nego po gol Pandurovica.
Dragan Ciric, igrac duge kose ali velikih mogucnosti!
(lopta
se natakla na siljak na ogradi i pukla) I lopta je sada pukla kao
staklena kugla od porcelana. Navijaci ne prestaju da navijaju iako pada
kisa
Statistika je kao bikini: otkriva sve, a ne pokazuje nista
-Ni lose vreme, ni svi minusi gospodina celzijusa nisu mogli da pokvare ovu fudbalksku predstavu!
-U Cikagu se igra kriminalni fudbal zato ima puno policajaca oko stadiona!
-Ilicu kako se prezivas?
-iznenadicu vas pismenom vezbom nemoj da budete iznenadjeni
-Evo sad cu vam posle napisati formule - izvala profesora
-Razredna : Мој син ради у Рајшфаујзен банци...
-Opalio sam mu jedan Headshot u glavu...
-Ne znam koliko imam godina. To se stalno mijenja.
-Breskva je kao jabuka s tepihom.
-Psi obično vole vodu. Neki čak toliko, da u njoj i žive. To su morski psi.
-Zoološki vrt je super. Tamo možemo vidjeti životinje koje i ne postoje.
-Vise
ovako ne ide, dosta je! Casa je prelivena,do ovoga je moralo doci, bilo
je pitanje kada...! Moram to uciniti, sto cu kad te volim! Rece zec
kupusu i pojede ga!
-Kad gledam nebo vidim tebe. Kad gledam more
vidim tebe. Kad gledam zvijezde vidim tebe. Daj, makni mi se vise, ne
vidim nista od tebe!!
- znam koliko ti nedostajem...koliko sam ti
potrebna u ovom trenu..no morala sam otići-stvarno.....no znaj još te
uvjek volim.. TVOJA PAMET
- Trazim dobro stituiranu stariju gospodju 80-ih godina sa rakom na srcu. Radi braka!
- Ako zelite stan boli glava, potrebno je da kupite samo niske lustere!
- Kad bi ljepota bila inteligencija, ti bi imao IQ preko 285.
- Kad se dvoje rastaju, budale placu,
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a pametni vec imaju reservu!!
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